gumaaN

There’s this feeling, that one can get, every now and then, of something nagging. It doesn’t necessarily have to do with anything.. anything in particular, but something.. perhaps, someone, perhaps not. I think in this new nazm, I tried to capture it, though I might have failed miserably, but heck, it ended up being a nazm anyway… so here it is:

gumaaN
———

maiN saRak ke isi kone pe khaRaa rahtaa houN
ek besood tamanna meiN ghiraa rahtaa houN
maiN ne har aas ka har deep bujhaa rakkhaa hai
dil kii aavaaz ko dil hi meiN dabaa rakkhaa hai

mere atraaf ajab bheeR hai logoN ki magar
koii bhi aaNkh uThaataa nahiiN meri jaanib
aur idhar maiN bhi kisii fikr meiN khoyaa, gumsum
Khud ko is gardish-e-duniyaa se alag rakhtaa houN
ek besood tamannaa meiN ghiraa rahtaa houN

aaKhir is dard ka koii to sabab hogaa hi
meraa maazi?
mire afkaar?
miri bazm-e-hayaat?
sochtaa to houN magar soch nahiiN paataa houN

maiN saRak ke isii kone pe khaRaa rahtaa houN
maiN ne Khud se bhi koii baat chhupaa rakkhii hai
aur ummeed ki har shammaa bujhaa rakkhii hai
dil ko phir bhi ye gumaaN hai k koii aayegaa….
15/Oct/2007

Sorry

One of the last nazm(s) I wrote, this one is entitled “Sorry”. Though using an english word in a Urdu poem might be considered not such great practices, I feel that with english being a big part of our daily communications, it is ok from a modern point of view to use such vocabulary. I believe words like “phone” etc are used often in Modern Urdu poetry. So here it is:

“Sorry”
======

raat jab us ne mirii nazm sunii
sun ke kuchh der vo hairaan rahii
aur phir kahne lagii….

“tum to aise nahiiN likhte the kabhi
ye suKhan-goii kahaaN se seekhii?
aise jazbaat kahaaN se laaye?
aur ehsaas kii shiddat itnii?”

meri aaNkhoN meiN ubharte Gham ko
us ne mehsoos kiyaa hi hogaa
aur rafaaqat ke voh beete lamhe
jin ko shaayad voh bhulaa baiThii thii
ek saa’at ke liye
Ghaaliban yaad kiyaa hi hogaa

is se pehle k laraztii aavaaz
aur palkoN pe thirakte aaNsoo
us pe ilzaam koii dhar dete
maiN ne nazroN ko bachaate hue haule se kahaa
“pehle aalam hi kahaaN thaa aisa”

us ne yaklaKht jhukaa liiN aaNkheiN
aur phir sahme hue lahje meiN
keh ke “sorry” huii ruKhsat mujh se
09/10/06

mujh ko ik baar to seene se lagaa lo jaanaaN!

Here’s another Ghazal that came about last year as well. I have always liked the word “jaanaaN” used as a radeef in Ghazals and have always wanted to write a Ghazal with the same. And hence the following Ghazal was penned:

mujh ko ik baar to seene se lagaa lo jaanaaN
mujh ko is gardish-e-dauraaN se bachaa lo jaanaaN

mere guzre hue kal ne to mujhe luuT liyaa
mujh ko aate hue lamhoN se chhupaa lo jaanaaN!

meri naakaam umeedoN ki paRii hai jo laash
mere aage se kisii taur haTaa lo jaanaaN

gham-e-furqat meiN jhulastii huii raateiN beetiiN
ab to aaghosh-e-tavajjo meiN sulaa lo jaanaaN

is se pahle k muhabbat ho hamaarii rusvaa
aaj jaise bhi ho bas paas bulaa lo jaanaaN

ye taqaddus, ye rasoomaat-o-aqaaid kya haiN?
khud ko in “ghor andheroN” se nikaalo jaanaaN!

log haNste haiN jo mujh par to chalo yuuN hi sahii
meri haalat ka zaraa tum bhi mazaa lo jaanaaN!

haaye ‘tanhaa’ no vo din haiN, na vo raateiN baaqii
jab vo kahte the “mujhe apna banaa lo jaanaaN!”
10/03/06

Iztiraab

Here’s my second nazm… which I totally love!  No no, I’m so not “tooting” my own horn.. it really ended up being a nice nazm.  Iztiraab (which means “bechaini”) is the title of this nazm:

iztiraab
=======
aaj phir raat tirii yaad se bojhal guzri
aaj phir chaaNd mire haal pe ghamgeen rahaa
aaj phir dard kii shiddat ne mujhe toR diyaa
aaj phir shabnamii aankhoN ne tirii raah takii

meri har saaNs meiN ab tak tirii khushboo hai nihaaN
mere seene meiN abhi tak tiri dhaRkan hai javaaN
mere jazbaat ke sho’oloN meiN haraarat hai tirii
vuhii vahshat, vuhii ulfat, vuhii chaahat hai tirii

mere ash’aar ki duniyaa hai tujhii se mansoob
meri nazmoN meiN chhupaa gham bhi faqat teraa hai
tuu abhii tak hai mirii rooh kii pahnaaii meiN
mere ehsaas meiN, takh’eel kii raanaaii meiN

aaj phir chaaNd mire haal pe ghamgeen rahaa
aaj phir dil ne kaii baar sawaalaat kiye
aaj phir maiN ne kaii baar ise samjhaayaa
“jiski ulfat pe tujhe itnaa yaqeeN thaa naadaaN!
vo kisii khwaab meiN khoyii huii hogii shaayad
vo kahiiN chain se soyii huii hogii shaayad!”

08/31/06