Father Forgets

Excerpt from Dale Carnegie’s “How to make friends and Influence People”

Often parents are tempted to criticize their children. You would expect me to say “don’t.” But I will not, I am merely going to say, “Before you criticize them, read one of the classics of American journalism, ‘Father Forgets.’ ” It originally appeared as an editorial in the People’s Home Journnl. We are reprinting it here with the author’s permission, as condensed in the Reader’s Digest:

“Father Forgets” is one of those little pieces which-dashed of in a moment of sincere feeling – strikes an echoing chord in so many readers as to become a perenial reprint favorite. Since its first appearance, “Father Forgets” has been reproduced, writes the author, W, Livingston Larned, “in hundreds of magazines and house organs, and in newspapers the country over. It has been reprinted almost as extensively in many foreign languages. I have given personal permission to thousands who wished to read it from school, church, and lecture platforms. It has been ‘on the air’ on countless occasions and programs. Oddly enough, college periodicals have used it, and high-school magazines. Sometimes a little piece seems mysteriously to ‘click.’ This one certainly did.

FATHER FORGETS – W. Livingston Larned
Listen, son: I am saying this as you lie asleep, one little paw crumpled under your cheek and the blond curls stickily wet on your damp forehead. I have stolen into your room alone. Just a few minutes ago, as I sat reading my paper in the library, a stifling wave of remorse swept over me. Guiltily I came to your bedside.

There are the things I was thinking, son: I had been cross to you. I scolded you as you were dressing for school because you gave your face merely a dab with a towel. I took you to task for not cleaning your shoes. I called out angrily when you threw some of your things on the floor.

At breakfast I found fault, too. You spilled things. You gulped down your food. You put your elbows on the table. You spread butter too thick on your bread. And as you started off to play and I made for my train, you turned and waved a hand and called, “Goodbye, Daddy!” and I frowned, and said in reply, “Hold your shoulders back!”

Then it began all over again in the late afternoon. As I came up the road I spied you, down on your knees, playing marbles. There were holes in your stockings. I humiliated you before your boyfriends by marching you ahead of me to the house. Stockings were expensive – and if you had to buy them you would be more careful! Imagine that, son, from a father!

Do you remember, later, when I was reading in the library, how you came in timidly, with a sort of hurt look in your eyes? When I glanced up over my paper, impatient at the interruption, you hesitated at the door. “What is it you want?” I snapped.

You said nothing, but ran across in one tempestuous plunge, and threw your arms around my neck and kissed me, and your small arms tightened with an affection that God had set blooming in your heart and which even neglect could not wither. And then you were gone, pattering up the stairs.

Well, son, it was shortly afterwards that my paper slipped from my hands and a terrible sickening fear came over me. What has habit been doing to me? The habit of finding fault, of reprimanding – this was my reward to you for being a boy. It was not that I did not love you; it was that I expected too much of youth. I was measuring you by the yardstick of my own years.

And there was so much that was good and fine and true in your character. The little heart of you was as big as the dawn itself over the wide hills. This was shown by your spontaneous impulse to rush in and kiss me good night. Nothing else matters tonight, son. I have come to your bed-side in the darkness, and I have knelt there, ashamed!

It is a feeble atonement; I know you would not understand these things if I told them to you during your waking hours. But tomorrow I will be a real daddy! I will chum with you, and suffer when you suffer, and laugh when you laugh. I will bite my tongue when impatient words come. I will keep saying as if it were a ritual: “He is nothing but a boy – a little boy!”

I am afraid I have visualized you as a man. Yet as I see you now, son, crumpled and weary in your cot, I see that you are still a baby. Yesterday you were in your mother’s arms, your head on her shoulder. I have asked too much, too much.

To the Editors of Hindu – a letter RE MF Hussain

This is a very thought provoking letter that arrived in a forward-mail in my inbox.  I find it presents an extremely interesting point of view and deserves to be shared on the web with others who may not receive this email in their inbox:

This is a Letter  to the Editor of The Hindu, from a practising Christian lady who was Professor in Stella Maris College, Chennai till recently; now settled at Baroda, regarding an Edit in The Hindu in favour of bringing back MF Hussain to India.


Dear Ram,

I have taken time to write this to you Ram-for the simple reason that we have known you for so many years- you and The Hindu bring back happy memories Please take what I am putting down as those that come from an agonized soul. You know that I do not mince words and what I have to say I will-I call a spade a spade-now it is too late for me to learn the tricks of being called a ‘secularist’ if that means a bias for, one, and a bias against, another.

Hussain is now a citizen of Qatar-this has generated enough of heat and less of light. Qatar you know better than me is not a country which respects democracy or freedom of expression. Hussain says he has complete freedom-I challenge him to paint a picture of Mohammed fully clad.

There is no second opinion that artists have the Right of Freedom of expression. Is such a right restricted only to Hussain? Will that right not flow to Dan Brown-why was his film-Da Vinci Code not screened? Why was Satanic Verses banned-does Salman Rushdie not have that freedom of expression? Similarly why is Taslima hunted and hounded and why fatwas have been issued on both these writers? Why has Qatar not offered citizenship to Taslima? In the present rioting in Shimoga in Karnataka against the article Taslima wrote against the tradition of burqua which appeared in the Out Look in Jan 2007.No body protested then either in Delhi or in any other part of the country; now when it reappears in a Karnataka paper there is rioting. Is there a political agenda to create a problem in Karnataka by the intolerant goons? Why has the media not condemned this insensitivity and intolerance of the Muslims against Taslima’s views? When it comes to the Sangh Parivar it is quick to call them goons and intolerant etc. Now who are the goons and where is this tolerance and sensitivity?

Regarding Hussain’s artistic freedom it seems to run unfettered in an expression of sexual perversion only when he envisages the Hindu Gods and Goddesses. There is no quarrel had he painted a nude woman sitting on the tail of a monkey. The point is he captioned it as Sita. Nobody would have protested against the sexual perversion and his orientatation to sexual signs and symbols. But would he dare to caption it as ‘Fatima enjoying in Jannat with animals’?

Next example-is the painting of Saraswati copulating with a lion. Here again his perversion is evident and so is his intent. Even that lets concede cannot be faulted-each one’s sexual orientation is each one’s business I suppose. But he captioned it as Saraswati. This is the problem. It is Hussain’s business to enjoy in painting his sexual perversion. But why use Saraswati and Sita for his perverted expressions? Use Fatima and watch the consequence. Let the media people come to his rescue then. Now that he is in a country that gives him complete freedom let him go ahead and paint Fatima copulating with a lion or any other animal of his choice. And then turn around and prove to India-the Freedom of expression he enjoys in Qatar.

Talking about Freedom of Expression-this is the Hussain who supported Emergency-painted Indira Gandhi as Durga slaying Jayaprakas Narayan. He supported the jailing of artists and writers. Where did this Freedom of Expression go? And you call him secularist? Would you support the jailing of artists and writers Ram –would you support the abeyance of the Constitution and all that we held sacred in democracy and the excessiveness of Indira Gandhi to gag the media-writers- political opponents? Tell me honesty why does Hussain expect this Freedom when he himself did not support others with the same freedom he wants? And the media has rushed to his rescue. Had it been a Ram who painted such obnoxious, .degrading painting-the reactions of the media and the elite ‘secularists’ would have been different; because there is a different perception/and index of secularism when it comes to Ram-and a different perception/and index  of secularism when it comes to Rahim/Hussain.

It brings back to my mind an episode that happened to The Hindu some years ago.[1991]. You had a separate weekly page for children with cartoons, quizzes, and with poems and articles of school children. In one such weekly page The Hindu printed a venerable bearded man-fully robed with head dress, mouthing some passages of the Koran-trying to teach children .It was done not only in good faith but as a part of inculcating values to children from the Koran. All hell broke loose. Your office witnessed goons who rushed in-demanded an apology-held out threats. In Ambur,Vaniambadi and Vellore the papers stands were burned-the copies of The Hindu were consigned to the fire. A threat to raise the issue in Parliament through a Private Members Bill was held out-Hectic activities went on-I am not sure of the nature and the machinations behind the scene. But The Hindu next day brought out a public apology in its front page. Where were you Ram? How secular and tolerant were the Muslims?

Well this is of the past-today it is worse because the communal temperature in this country is at a all high-even a small friction can ignite and demolition the country’s peace and harmony. It is against this background that one should view Hussain who is bent on abusing and insulting the Hindu Gods and Goddesses. Respect for religious sentiments, need to maintain peace and harmony should also be part of the agenda of an artist-if he is great. If it is absent then he cannot say that he respects India and express his longing for India.

Let’s face it-he is a fugitive of law. Age and religion are immaterial. What does the media want-that he be absolved by the courts? Even for that he has to appear in the courts-he cannot run away-After all this is the country where he lived and gave expression to his pervert sadist, erotic artistic mind under Freedom of Expression. I simply cannot jump into the bandwagon of the elite ‘secularist’ and uphold what he had done. With his brush he had committed jihad-bloodletting.

The issue is just not nudity-Yes the temples-the frescos in Konarak and Kajhuraho have nude figures-But does it say that they are Sita, Sarswati or any goddesses? We have the Yoni and the Phallus as sacred signs of Life-of Siva and Shakthi-take these icons to the streets, paint them -give it a caption it become vulgar. Times have changed. Even granted that our ancients sculptured and painted naked forms and figures, with a pervert mind to demean religion is no license to repeat that in today’s changed political and social scenario and is not a sign of secularism and tolerance. I repeat there is no quarrel with nudity-painters have time and again found in it the perfection of God’s hand craft.

Let me wish Hussain peace in Qatar-the totalitarian regime with zero tolerance May be he will convince the regime there to permit freedom of expression in word, writing and painting. For this he could start experimenting painting forms and figure of Mohamed the Prophet-and his family And may I fervently wish that the media-especially The Hindu does not discriminate goons-let it not substitute tolerance for intolerance when it comes to  Rahim and Antony and another index for Ram.

I hope you will read this in the same spirit that I have written. All the best to you Ram.

Dr Mrs Hilda Raja, Vadodara  (her blog is at http://hildaraja.wordpress.com/ where other such thought provoking letters are available).

Here’s a link to show some of the paintings by MF Hussain, you be the judge, tell us what you think when it comes to his paintings whether he is simply using freedom of expression or whether he has any other agenda.


Onions and Flu — Beneficial or not?


There’s no doubt that onions can be extremely beneficial for health when eaten.  Some of the benefits are:

  • anti-inflammatory
  • anti-carcinogen
  • anti-cholestrol
  • anti-oxydant (they contain quercetin, an antioxydant, other major sources of quercetin are tea and apples)
  • Aphrodisiac (in fact some sects in India don’t consume onion due to that reason)
  • Can be used to treat blisters and boils
  • Application of raw onions can be used to reduce swelling from bee stings
  • Products that treat topical scars usually contain extracts from onions
  • They can be used to treat sore throats (In fact, again in India they are used in a mixture with Jaggery as a remedy against sore throat)
  • There are claims that show them to be beneficial against diabetes, osteoprosis, gastric ulcers, cataracts and cardio-vascular diseases (by being a potent blood-thinner)
  • Source of Vitamin C, potassium, dietary fiber, folic acid, calcium, iron, have a high protein quality and are low in sodium and contain no fat.

Onion Rings Baked Onions

There have been studies done that show that increased consumption of onions can be good to reduce the risks of head and neck cancer (http://www.ajcn.org/cgi/content/abstract/84/5/1027).

So yeah, apart from adding flavouring to your food, they have tons of beneficial attribu


s, so don’t say no to Onions.

So what about this email I received saying leave the onion open

Here’s how the email goes:

A friend of mine told me a story about  when he was a kid he was in the hospital & nearly dying.  His Italian grandmother came to the hospital & told a family member to go buy her a large onion & a new pair of white cotton socks.  She sliced the onion open then put a slice on the bottom of each of his feet & put the white cotton socks on him.  In the morning when he awoke they removed the socks.  The slices of onion were black & his fever was gone.  The following story that someone sent to me might have some truth in it & we are going to try it this winter.

In 1919 when the flu killed 40  million people there was this Doctor that visited the many  farmers to see if he could help them combat the flu. Many of the farmers and their family had contracted it and  many died.

The doctor came upon this one farmer and to his surprise,  everyone was very healthy. When the doctor asked what  the farmer was doing that was different the wife replied  that she had placed an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms  of the home, (probably only two rooms back then). The  doctor couldn’t believe it and asked if he could have one of  the onions and place it under the microscope.  She gave  him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in  the onion.  It obviously absorbed the bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy.

Now, I heard this story from my hairdresser in AZ.   She said that several years ago many of her employees were  coming down with the flu and so were many of her  customers.  The next year she placed several bowls with  onions around in her shop.  To her surprise, none of  her staff got sick.  It must work..  (And no, she is not in the onion business.)

The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them  in bowls around your home.  If you work at a desk,  place one or two in your office or under your desk or even  on top somewhere.  Try it and see what happens.   We did it last year and we never  got the flu. !!!!!! !!!!!!!!

I contacted pneumonia and needless to say I was very ill…I came across an article that said to cut both ends off an onion put one end on a fork and then place the forked end into an empty jar…placing the jar next to the sick patient at night. It said the onion would be black in the morning from the germs…sure enough it happened just like that…the onion was a mess and I began to feel better.

Another thing I read in the article was that onions and garlic placed around the room saved many from the black plague years ago. They have powerful antibacterial, antiseptic properties.

One more thing, never store cut onions and consume the next day.

Is that true?

We can easily debunk the story, while I can’t tell you if that’s true or not, there are facts in this story that can be easily shown to be false.

Consider this:

1.  In 1919, Electron Microscope hadn’t been invented, which means that the doctor saw the virus under an optical microscope.  That is not possible.
2.  Electron Microscope was invented in 1931
3.  The Influenza virus itself was first shown and extracted in 1933 in United Kingdom.

So the 1919 doctor could not have seen the virus (not bacteria as said in the email) absorbed by the onion.  It has to be impossible.  So one story debunked.

The hair-dresser in AZ that placed onions in onions41vj9bowls all over her salon, though speaking in jest, this must have caused a lot of people to not user her salon, less people = less infectious agents.  LOL

So what about leaving an onion open in the bowl and it becomes black soaking all the germs?  Comeon!!! Leave an apple open and it becomes black, leave a banana open and it becomes black.  This only happens because of oxidation as the vegetable or fruit reacts with the oxygen in the air and becomes oxidized.  This in turn gives it a black or brown color.  So no it doesn’t become black because it soaks up all the germs in the air.  Onion is not a bacterial / viral magnet!

Look, the cut onions soaking up viruses and bacteria to ward off diseases is just a old-wife tale as they call it, nothing magical about it and it has been around for ages! Read this link to find more about how old this tale really is: http://www.snopes.com/medical/swineflu/onion.asp

While I can’t explain how the kid whose grandmother placed cut onions in socks got better the next day, I can confidently say that the onion got black because of oxidation.  The last guy whose pneumonia got better because of onions that also (surprise surprise) turned black overnight, well that could be more of a psychotropic effect.  Psychology has a huge role to play in sickness, the placebo effect is well documented and often seems miraculous.  You can read more about placebo effect in the wikipedia or on the web.

onionNow lets talk about the last part of the email, eating a cut onion the next day…  Now this is interesting.  My research showed that onions, due to the fact that they have ground contact, could have bacteria on the surface which could go from the outside to the inside if the onion is not washed before chopping.  Now of course if you peel your onions, you are safe in that regard.  This can happen with other ground vegetables and fruit as well such as watermelon and cantaloupes and potatoes.  Well anything grown in soil, the outside can be contaminated with fecal bacteria or other soil bacteria, so you should wash them regardless, in fact, wash any raw vegetable or fruit before you eat them is a good advice.  As far as onions becoming toxic when left cut, I can’t see why they would become toxic!  If you took proper care in handling it and then you are going to cook it later on, then they shouldn’t be toxic to eat, especially if wrapped and left in the fridge.  If you are going to eat them raw after a couple of days, then they probably won’t taste so good as they would lose their pungency left open.  There is no logical reason for the onions to become toxic when left open for next day in the fridge, if anybody can think of one or can show me a source, I’d appreciate it.

Till then, don’t believe everything you get in a chain email, do some research to find out the truth or take everything with a grain of salt.

Thoughts and Thinking

Here’s an interesting dialogue for everybody to consider:

Krishnamurti: “So where does silence begin? Does it begin when thought ends? Have you ever tried to end thought?

Questioner: “How do you do it”?

Krishnamurti: “I don’t know, but have you ever tried it? First of all, who is the entity who is trying to stop thought?”

Questioner: “The thinker.”

Krishnamurti: “It’s another thought, isn’t it?  Thought is trying to stop itself, so there is a battle between the thinker and the thought … Thought says, ‘I must stop thinking because then I shall experience a marvelous state.’ … One thought is trying to supress another thought, so there is a conflict.  When I see this as a fact, see it totally, understand it completely, have an insight into it… then the mind is quiet.  This comes about naturally and easily when the mind is quiet to watch, to look, to see.”

– J. Krishnamurti (You are the World, 1972)
More about Krishnamurti by clicking here

Interesting thought isn’t it?  No Pun intended.

2012 — What’s up with that?

Three youtube videos on the documentary “Everything 2012″  sure do make you go “hmmm.”

So what is the truth and what is going to really happen, I guess we will have to see.  Why is it that prophecies always tell us what bad is going to happen to the world, how about the good things?

Watch the videos to see what I mean, and do give your comments about what is going to happen in 2012!

Part I

Part II

Part III