Ever sat on a chair, looked into the oblivion and thought to yourself that something is missing? Something important, a person, a goal, a regret that creeps into the mind during this whole thought process, a regret about a missed opportunity or a regret about letting someone go, or just a regret about not doing something that you really wanted to do. And at that point, the height of imagination kicks in, and you think about that regret and say to yourself, what if? What if I had done that? What if I had taken that route instead of the one I’m currently on? What if she was with me? What would life have been like. And that old, sad melody just keeps echoing in the back, sometimes the words come on the lips, you utter them out.. sing them even, to the best of your ability, and the thoughts, the thoughts just don’t stop.

Can a person ever be satisfied with what he/she has in life? Why is it that there is always something else, something more, something that just keeps on eluding … just keeps on slipping away. The lines of the old song just keep running through the mind, sad melodies, and the whole mood just becomes melancholic. Do you want it to stop? The ever elusive life. Do you really want it to stop?

Some would say that there’s a weird pleasure in pain though. Sometimes, you feel more alive with an aching heart than you do with a mundane boring routine and even a semi-joyful life. Once you experience that aching heart, it’s hard to imagine yourself without it. Why should your heart ache you ask? There are so many reasons for it to ache, so many… they don’t have to do with “her” (or “him” — the world is strange these days, anything can be expected right? unless you, the reader, is a female, then saying “him” won’t be strange at all). Yes, so many reasons — there’s pain all around you if you look closely. Yes yes, the glass is not “half-empty” buddy! I know. Yet, you can’t ignore them. They are there. Stupidity, ignorance, cruelty, poverty, dictatorship …. and a lot more. You really can’t ignore them.

Our world is a dying world. I have thought about that so often. It’s a dying world indeed. How? Fear of the unknown pushes men to do so many things that will be used to destroy the world as we know it. How can anybody not see it happening? Man is illogical, irrational and afraid. Just the elements required to do whatever he (or she) will be asked to do by the minority of logical, rational yet cunning powerful leaders. World leaders, religious leaders, they are all alike. But I digress.

You see what happened here? It was the height of imagination. It started with a personal, intangible pain, that turned into a visible, present world pain. Yes that regret, what was it though? Wasn’t it petty compared to what followed in the mind?

Ramblings of a deranged mind. That’s what these are.